Dainty as a Butterfly, Sly like a Wolf

8 Aug
Lee Row, Lupus Warrior

Lee Row, Lupus Warrior

Lupus is as dainty as a butterfly yet sly like a wolf, if you don’t believe it ask us we’ll tell you.

My name is Lee and I am doing way better than when I started out. I had to take a medical leave from school my freshman year of college and that broke me as a person. My whole life I strived to be a good student. I moved back home with my mom and became a shell of a person, only time I came out was for doctors appointments. Back then everybody frightened me and I was so shy and quiet. This made it difficult for my doctor to know how to help me, because I didn’t speak up to tell him what was going on inside my body. I had a stroke in 2010. After that I gave up completely. I sat in my room all alone with the TV and the lights off and cried. That’s when I decided to stop taking my medicines. I felt like they were just making things worse! I didn’t realize that my medications were the only things keeping me alive. My mother was so disappointed in me she’d yell at me, “Girl those doctors didn’t spend their whole lives in school to be telling you wrong.” But I was not hearing it, and I continued to disobey both her and my doctor’s orders. People came to my house to pray over me and my medicines but not even that helped. I lost my faith. I lost my trust in doctors. And I damaged the special relationship I’ve always shared with my mom.

I have a cousin named Felicia and she’s so persuasive and argumentative she could sell a leprechaun back his gold. She suffered from cancer and, like me, had lost all her patience with doctors and their icky medications. She decided to take an alternative route and she began studying holistic treatments. Fed up with all those mangy side effects from my medications, I asked Felicia if she could help me. She was more than happy to help.  We both needed each other’s company after all we both were suffering from a chronic illness and we started to believe in every miracle cure that was out there. Finally she had stumbled upon what we both figured to be a sure fix for both our illnesses – the alkaline diet. We started eating better and in the beginning my mom supported mine and Felicia’s decision to change our diets and take supplements. She didn’t know that I had stopped taking my medications completely. She was just happy I found someone I could relate to and spend time with.

After a while, I started to feel funny and the people I loved would look at me funny too. I couldn’t figure out what was going on.  I was feeling better, but I didn’t look the way I felt. After multiple disputes, my beloved cousin Latasi put me in her car and took me to St. John’s hospital. I was admitted into the behavioral institute and they taught me that what I had done was irresponsible. I learned the routine of taking my medications daily, I learned to question my doctors responsibly, I learned coping skills for my depression, I learned cognitive thinking skills, and I learned to communicate with my family better. Now, I see a Psych doctor and a therapist for my depression. I thought this illness had defeated me but by the grace of god and my mother and my family who never stopped fighting for me, I stand here today victorious and still fighting. I have a passion for nutrition and well being and thanks to my doctor’s encouragement I will be pursuing that line of work.

I am one who can honestly say that the LFA-Heartland Chapter has been my greatest support system. Attending the north county support groups with Gale has been a blessing. They helped me realize even at our darkest hours there is hope. To the Heartland Chapter I am truely humbled…

hugs & spoons

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One Response to “Dainty as a Butterfly, Sly like a Wolf”

  1. Shelley August 8, 2013 at 7:40 pm #

    Thank you so much for writing this, Lee! You are a champion! God bless!

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