Mind Games

15 Jul

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Not only does lupus affect you physically it affects you mentally. Now I know there are symptoms including headaches and trouble concentrating but I am talking about that little voice inside you that yells “Is it my lupus?” every time you have a headache, every time you are tired, every time you have chest pain, every time you have an inkling of pain throughout your body.

If you do think of your lupus, that automatically leads to stress and sometimes you start to picture the worst: bed rest, hospitalization, kidney failure. These little or major flares do a lot to mess with your head and I can’t stand it. I will be sitting at my desk and boom, chest pain. What do I do? Do I go to the hospital? Is it just a flare? Will it pass? Do I pop some Ibuprofen? Am I having a heart attack? If I am having a heart attack, what if I collapse and no one is around…can’t wait for that medical bill. Welcome to the mind of a lupus patient. Clinical depression or not, the sadness and stress can take over your mind any second, any day.

Even though that voice can sometimes get carried away, I am an avid believer in keeping a positive mindset. I love, love, love yoga and meditation. The freedom and control you have over your breathing, imagining the lupus is leaving your body, is a mind game I like to play with the evil nemesis lupus. No, this won’t cure you but it’s another tactic to prove lupus wrong.

Amid the pain, the tiredness, the headaches, you have to somehow reach deep inside yourself and appreciate you are alive and think positive. You have to remind yourself that research has come so far. You are the living proof and today you are proving lupus wrong.

~Nicole

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One Response to “Mind Games”

  1. didis67 July 15, 2013 at 8:43 pm #

    Hi, my name is Diane. The chest pain you feel? What do they say when you tell them?

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